dealing with emotional immaturity as im healing and growing myself
having people you care about react negatively and purely on the basis of their emotional reaction can be difficult when it does them a disservice. i want to help my brother with his addiction, but he denies it entirely. instead of viewing our actions as trying to help him, he plays the victim and views himself as the black sheep of the family.
its difficult trying to get through, but i guess i can only do what i can do. you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink. im so disappointed that i likely wont be able to get through to him and be able to talk to the version of him that i remember when i was younger. im not against drugs as a blanket stance. in fact i partake in recreation use occasionally. i take issue with it affecting our family and my relationship with him.
i hope he wakes up soon. but if im being honest, ive already mourned his loss. the person i thought i knew is likely gone. he is becoming more radicalized and selfish as time goes on. im afraid his web of self-delusion is too thick at this point. he needs a serious wake up call or he may lose everything he cares about.
just spitting this into the void hoping to find some clarity. i can empathize with him so much, because i also was emotionally weak for a period (and likely still am in many many ways). i understand having a difficult relationship with our mother and feeling neglected. but he's a grown adult and he's letting another person dictate his mental state to an unhealthy level. ironically, drugs got me out of my hole. LSD and shrooms have unshackled my mind from being tormented by the conditioning i once had. im afraid weed and drinking are doing the opposite for my brother.
i miss my brother. and if he realized it, he'd miss himself too.
for legal reasons, parts of this is all fiction.