working on a project as a means to escape addictive loops?
ive been building my website on neocities and have tried actively to not consume any short form content. ive been doing the latter for the last while, but have been (predictably) unsuccessful.
ive been building my site on neocities and have not consumed and short form content or engaged with any other of my addictions during this short period.
this reminds me of the rat experiment where they offered cocaine water and regular water. in a confined space, all the rats chose cocaine water. however, when they re-did the experiment and instead created a far more enjoyable environment for the rats, almost no rats chose the cocaine water.
maybe im the rat. maybe i just need a greater purpose. a simple neocities website may not be a "greater purpose" in the abstract sense, but maybe to my primitive brain it is. it is a creative outlet that im proud of. and it's boundless and exists without formal critique. this is indispensable for me at the moment - given my stress with school.
this website im building serves as an interesting entry to other fulfilling pass-times as well. with the boundless nature of personal sites, i can make sections to flesh out and showcase various hobbies i have. in fact - ive been inspired recently to pick up the guitar again and actually record something maybe. ive never recorded anything, but maybe i should upload some raw jam sessions - perhaps ones where im not under the influence of psychedelics and can actually move my fingers accordingly.
im excited for the future.